


kid-soo!au

by kaihanbitches



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 01:37:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14885159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaihanbitches/pseuds/kaihanbitches
Summary: When Joonmyun asks Chanyeol and Jongdae to look after his child, they think it’s going to be a piece of cake. The child is like—what, five or six—no problem. (“Kyungsoo is four.”) (repost from a 2014 lj entry)





	kid-soo!au

When Joonmyun asks Chanyeol and Jongdae to look after his child, they think it’s going to be a piece of cake. The child is like—what, five or six—no problem. (“Kyungsoo is four.”) Kids at that age are cute right? Take naps all the time and drink milk from bottles. (“Wait, I think they can drink solid stuff at that age right?” “We could run to 7/11 and get the little man a slushie! It’s perfect. Wow, we’re so cut out for this kind of stuff. We got this in the bag.”) To his credit, Joonmyun doesn’t do more than heavily twitching because he really needs someone to look after Kyungsoo.  
  
It’s not that Kyungsoo is a bad boy or anything, but he tends to be  _wildly creative_  and it can get a little out of hand. Kyungsoo has a cute face, but sometimes Joonmyun feels little under his son’s judgmental stares. His son is innately smart, which is why when Joonmyun goes over to Chanyeol and Jongdae’s apartment to drop off Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo is already wibbling his lips angrily because his father is a poopy fart fart betrayer poopoo butthead.  
  
“DADDY,” Kyungsoo screams. Joonmyun winces, he can already tell Kyungsoo is not going to be easy to deal with today. On the bright side, Kyungsoo looks super cute in his graphic tee and multicolored shorts. Kyungsoo is a boy with selective taste, which is why when Joonmyun introduced branded polo shirts, Kyungsoo scribbled permanent marker over two hundred dollar worth of shirts. (“Daddyyyy, it art!”)  
  
“Soo, baby, don’t be like this. Daddy is just going to go out to park the car!” Kyungsoo viciously digs his short fingernails into Joonmyun’s skin and holds on even tighter. He stomps his feet loudly on the ground and he seems to get even louder without the reassurance that Daddy’s going to stay.  
  
“I SAY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. DADDY BAD MAN. DON’T GOOOOOOOOOO,” Kyungsoo wails. Chanyeol leans by the doorway with his arms loosely crossed. Kyungsoo seems like a challenge but Chanyeol is  _always_  up for a challenge.  
  
“Don’t you want to play with hyung-deul for today,” Jongdae tries to coax. Kyungsoo screams even louder, hiding his face in his dad’s pant legs, snot dribbling down his nose.  
  
“YOU SAY YOU DON’T LEAVE ME. BAD MAN. APPAAAAAAAAAAA,” Kyungsoo yells. Joonmyun winces, trying to pry off Kyungsoo’s fingers but Kyungsoo just retaliates by wrapping his short legs around the base of Joonmyun’s feet.  
  
“I thought you said Kyungsoo was your little angel,” Jongdae says, holding a variety of stuffed animals.  
  
“Hey, did you get that from my room?” Chanyeol pouts, not sure if he’s willing to share his Rilakkumas with someone he’s just met. Jongdae rolls his eyes, pushing Chanyeol out of the way and crouching in front of Kyungsoo so that they’re almost the same height level.  
  
“Do you want to play with Rilakkuma and Jongdae hyung?” Kyungsoo stops sniffling long enough to peer at the toy and take it from Jongdae’s hand, just to throw it across the room and continue crying. Slightly peeved, Jongdae has a backup plan from his extensive babysitting lecture from Joonmyun.  
  
“I guess you don’t want to watch Pororo with hyung either,” Jongdae sighs. At the mention of Pororo, Kyungsoo seems to stop and watch Jongdae more carefully as he motions over to the piles of DVDs stocked in the corner. Kyungsoo hasn’t watched Season 3 of Pororo yet. Of course, it’s not his fault that his daddy won’t let him watch anything after 6 o’ clock. After all, Daddy is a poopy fart fart betrayer poopoo butthead.  
  
“Do you want to?” Jongdae gives Kyungsoo a look, breaking out into a grin when Kyungsoo looks up from his bangs shyly and nods. Jongdae goes to put the first disk into the DVD player while Chanyeol tries to shoo Joonmyun away while Kyungsoo is distracted.  
  
Kyungsoo is in the middle of throwing a plush across the room when he turns around to tell his daddy that he’s thirsty when he finds that Daddy is nowhere to be found! His lips wibble and the telltale glassiness of tears begin forming. Dropping the plush in his hand, Kyungsoo runs to the door and slaps it repeatedly with his tiny palms. “DADDYYYYYYYY!”  
  
Chanyeol tries to appease Kyungsoo with plushies, but they get thrown to the floor and shoved back at Chanyeol. “Hey! I’m trying to be nice to you, you little runt!” Jongdae rolls his eyes, shoving Chanyeol aside.  
  
“Kyungsoo, your daddy says he’ll be back soon. Do you want some snacks? Something to drink?” Jongdae envelops Kyungsoo into his arms, holding tightly until Kyungsoo stops squirming long enough to calm down.  
  
“Is Appa going come back,” he asks timidly. Jongdae widens his eyes and nods furiously.  
  
“Of course he is!” Appeased, Kyungsoo sits on one of Jongdae’s thigh and picks at the Velcro on his shoes.  
  
After a moment of silence, Kyungsoo looks up with extremely serious and imploring eyes. “Do you promiseee?” They finish it off with a pinky swear. Jongdae helps Kyungsoo out of his shoes, revealing cute patterned socks on the tiniest feet Jongdae has seen in a while.  
  
-  
  
Taking it upon himself to take care of Kyungsoo, Jongdae heads over to the kitchen to cut some apples and maybe get Kyungsoo some water. All that screaming must have gotten him at least a little tired.  
  
“Hey,” Chanyeol says, “I’m Chanyeol-hyung. Do you want to play with me today?” Kyungsoo shakes his head, finding more interest in picking at a hole in their couch. Chanyeol doesn’t take very well to being ignored and promptly scoops Kyungsoo into his arms. Kyungsoo screeches, clasping his hands behind Chanyeol’s neck.  
  
Chanyeol’s idea of fun is carrying Kyungsoo as high as he can without a complete fear of dropping him. It works because Kyungsoo’s giggling, face split in a cute heart-shaped smile. Chanyeol makes eye contact with Kyungsoo and nuzzles his nose.  
  
“Higher!” Kyungsoo demands with the ferociousness only a four year old could possess. After four or five spins in the airs, Kyungsoo feels like an airplane and Chanyeol feels like his arms are made of lead.  
  
“How are those apples coming along, Jongdae?” Jongdae snorts, cutting at an even slower speed.  
  
“They’re coming,” Jongdae hollers. Chanyeol clutches Kyungsoo to his chest, holding on tighter when Kyungsoo wants to struggle and become a bird or something.  
  
“Fly? Like this?” Kyungsoo asks, eyes shining brightly while wiggling his arms and hands. Chanyeol coos, internally shrieking at the sight of Kyungsoo finally warming up to him.  
  
“In a little bit,” Chanyeol agrees, “but how about we get some water first?” Kyungsoo frowns, eyebrows shooting up.  
  
“Nooo?”  
  
“No?”  
  
“Hehe, Noooo!” Kyungsoo grins, waving his hands excitedly. “Higher!”  
  
Chanyeol sighs, obliging Kyungsoo a few more times before Jongdae walks up to them with carefully sliced apples and a plastic cup of water. Chanyeol sets Kyungsoo down, only to be met with incessant whining and tugging at his pants.  
  
“Look! Apples!” Kyungsoo warily looks over to Jongdae, who’s setting down the plate of apples on the floor.  
  
“Later? We play?” Kyungsoo doesn’t let Chanyeol off without a pinky promise. He sticks a hand out and Jongdae gives him a slice. Kyungsoo crushes it in his hand, scrapping it with his teeth and chewing obnoxiously—cutely, but still obnoxiously.  
  
“Hmmmm,” Kyungsoo starts, then gasps loudly. Jongdae gasps back, mirroring Kyungsoo’s facial expression. “Pororo!” Kyungsoo runs over to the TV, grabbing the DVD case that has a big 3 on it with his sticky fingers.  
  
“Thisss one!” He hands the case over to Jongdae, smiling happily. Jongdae grimaces at the feeling of the dirtied case but obliges. Chanyeol hands a napkin over to Kyungsoo, who has taken to licking at the apple juices leaking over his palm and his arm.  _He’s just a kid_ , Chanyeol has to remind himself. Nonetheless, a very cute kid of course.  
  
“Pororo,” Kyungsoo shrieks when the familiar penguin creature shows up on screen. “That one! That one, see? See? Seeeee?” Kyungsoo hits Chanyeol’s arm repeatedly and points to the screen vigorously.  
  
“Wowww,” Chanyeol replies, clapping to appease Kyungsoo. He snuggles Kyungsoo to his side until Jongdae wiggles his way into the middle of the couch.  
  
“Woww,” Kyungsoo repeats, a little more reverently than most kids would for a cartoon. Jongdae offers Kyungsoo more apples and the water he was holding earlier.  
  
Kyungsoo dribbles water down his chin, smacking his wet lips and giving the cup back to Jongdae. “No more,” he says. The cup is more than half full but he doesn’t want to drink anymore. Jongdae takes back the cup, handing Kyungsoo another slice of apple that he eats almost absentmindedly while watching Pororo. He giggles at every joke he hears on the screen and he’s quite possibly the cutest thing the both of them have ever seen.  
  
“Chanyeol, Kyungsoo makes me want to be straight and have kids,” Jongdae leans over with his head resting on Chanyeol’s shoulder and whispers, silently squealing when Kyungsoo sings along to the theme song.  
  
“Woah, that’s a little too much for me,” Chanyeol says, “I still like chicks. Chicks over dicks. I like titties.”  
  
Jongdae snorts, “Hey! Don’t say that in front of the kid! And that’s not what you said when you were on your knees yesterday.  _Oh god, Chen~!_ ”  
  
Chanyeol scowls, “We don’t talk about what happens when we’re drunk okay. What happens at parties, stays at parties. I don’t even remember who Chen was.”  
  
Jongdae snorts, handing Kyungsoo another apple slice whenever he finishes them. It’s silent other than Kyungsoo’s quiet gasps and the flickering of the TV, then Jongdae breaks out with, “ _Chen~_ ” again just to be a dick.  
  
“I want that,” Kyungsoo says suddenly. Chanyeol looks over to Kyungsoo and travels his eyes over to where Kyungsoo’s pointing. Chanyeol points in the same direction, just to be sure. Kyungsoo’s eyes brighten. “Yes! Pleaseee?”  
  
Chanyeol grimaces, not quite wanting Kyungsoo to touch Rilakkuma with dirty hands but he obliges. He takes it as a growing experience—he’s leveling up. “Thank you,” Kyungsoo says quietly, slurring his words together.  
  
Kyungsoo cuddles Rilakkuma to his side, talking to the teddy bear about how fascinating Pororo is in excited half-gibberish.  
  
“Do you want kids,” Jongdae asks, playing with Chanyeol’s calloused hands. Chanyeol hums, not nodding in case it would bother Jongdae from where his head is perched on his shoulder.  
  
“Of course I want them, maybe a boy and a girl. That would be nice,” Chanyeol replies. Jongdae pauses, looking up at Chanyeol—his roommate of three years—and he swallows thickly.  
  
“What if the girl you like in the future doesn’t want kids or can’t have kids?” Chanyeol doesn’t sound too bothered.  
  
“Then we’ll adopt, it’s that simple. And if she doesn’t want kids then I guess it’ll be okay because if I love her, then that’s enough right?” Jongdae makes a noncommittal noise in response, but his insides are fluttering traitorously.  
  
“Apple,” Kyungsoo demands. Jongdae hands over a slice, smile on his lips when Kyungsoo thanks him quietly and breaks off a piece to  _feed_  Rilakkuma. Jongdae closes his eyes briefly, lulled to a drowsy state.  
  
-  
  
When he comes to, Pororo isn’t on the screen anymore and he’s lying on the couch by himself with one of Chanyeol’s fleece blankets draped over his body. Jongdae rubs his eyes, peering down to find Kyungsoo snuggled up to his waist, clinging to his sweatshirt. (Actually, he’s pretty sure it’s Chanyeol’s sweatshirt, but Chanyeol didn’t seem to mind him stealing it.)  
  
Chanyeol’s in the kitchen making crust-less ham and cheese sandwiches cut into quarters and gives Jongdae a grin when he sees Jongdae waking up.  
  
“Hey,” Chanyeol whispers, smiling toothily at Jongdae. Jongdae grins back at Chanyeol, getting up slowing so he doesn’t wake up Kyungsoo. He shuffles over to Chanyeol quietly and nudges his way under one of Chanyeol’s arms. Chanyeol puts down the knife he was using and dangles a piece of ham in from of Jongdae’s face. Jongdae opens his mouth and Chanyeol feeds him. (“It’s good right?” “Yeah, but it’s just ham.”) It’s a pretty good set up. Chanyeol feeds him and Jongdae adds to his huge ego.  
  
“Daddy?” Kyungsoo sits up, blinking sluggishly, rubbing his eyes with his balled fists. Kyungsoo wraps himself in Chanyeol’s blanket, stumbling around and calling for his dad.  
  
“Soo, are you hungry yet?” Chanyeol holds up the plate he’s stacked little sandwiches with. Kyungsoo walks over to them, staring up at them and shakes his head. Chanyeol wilts a little. He worked really hard on the sandwiches, dammit.  
  
Jongdae picks up Kyungsoo, cuddling him and allowing Kyungsoo to bury his face into the crook of Jongdae’s neck. “Where Daddy?”  
  
“He’ll be here soon, but you don’t you want to hang out with hyung?” Jongdae pouts, letting Kyungsoo sit on the counter while Chanyeol cleans up.  
  
“Yess?” Kyungsoo smiles, playing with the drawstrings of Jongdae’s hoodie. Feeling a sense of accomplishment, Jongdae ruffles Kyungsoo’s hair. Chanyeol takes this opportunity to swoop in and ask Kyungsoo if he wants a sandwich again.  
  
Surprisingly Kyungsoo decides to agree this time when he sees how small and cute the sandwiches are. He gasps dramatically and nods, “Uh-huh, yes please?” He sticks out a hand and Chanyeol proudly gives him a pretty little sandwich. Kyungsoo hums to the Pororo theme while kicks out his legs in the air and getting bread crumbs all over his face.  
  
“What else do kids like to do?” Chanyeol scratches his head. “Nap, check. Eat, check. Play, check. TV, check.”  
  
Jongdae rolls his eyes. “Those are things  _you_  like to do. Minus drinking.”  
  
“Drink! Drink! Juice?” Kyungsoo smacks his lips together, wiggling excitedly. Chanyeol looks through the fridge, sniffing the orange juice from a couple nights before. It doesn’t seem to be spiked so Chanyeol pours a small cup for Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo thanks Chanyeol, downing half of it in one go and choking. Jongdae frowns, taking the cup from Kyungsoo and dabbing at his stained shirt with a napkin.  
  
“Crap, this shirt must have cost like twenty dollars or something.”  
  
“Yeah, I could have bought twenty cheeseburgers for the same price.” Jongdae nudges Chanyeol out of the way to wet a napkin.  
  
Kyungsoo shrugs. “It art!!” He picks up his sandwich, squeezing it between his palms and gnawing on the flattened sandwich. Jongdae carefully wipes Kyungsoo’s hands and face after he’s done eating and sets Kyungsoo down to run off and play family with the Rilakkuma dolls.  
  
“I’m so tired,” Chanyeol complains after cleaning, lying face down on the couch.  
  
Jongdae snorts, “What did you even do?” He brackets his legs on either sides of Chanyeol’s body and starts massaging Chanyeol’s shoulders.  
  
“You’re godsent,” Chanyeol grunts, relaxing under Jongdae’s touches. Kyungsoo runs up to them, dropping the Rilakkumas by the end of the couch.  
  
“Draw! I want to draw? Please?” Joonmyun did mention something about Kyungsoo being a budding artist. Jongdae gets off Chanyeol and rummages through their rooms to find some paper and markers. He comes back with some scratch paper and highlighters and sets them down in front of Kyungsoo.  
  
“Try not to draw over the table, okay?” Kyungsoo nods eagerly.  
  
“Wowwww,” Kyungsoo says, uncapping all the highlighters and marveling at the bright colors. Chanyeol joins Kyungsoo in the fun, trying not to cringe when Kyungsoo uses the yellow highlighter over the darker ones. Chanyeol is in the middle of drawing an extremely elaborate banana tree when he looks over to see Kyungsoo’s progress and sees him coloring the wall because the paper just wasn’t the right material.  
  
“Kyungsoo, noo. This place is a rental,” Chanyeol bemoans. The walls are white too so the color fades but it stains. Maybe they can cover it up later with white-out or something.  
  
“Yesss! See? Seeeee?” Kyungsoo finishes his masterpiece with random neon pink dots. The tips of all the highlighters are probably ruined but Kyungsoo seems extremely satisfied. Chanyeol smiles weakly.  
  
“Hmmm,” Kyungsoo hums, dropping out of his seat and running through the halls.  
  
“Where are you going?” Jongdae runs after Kyungsoo, steering him in the other direction when Kyungsoo says he needs to go  _potty_.  
  
Kyungsoo never makes it. He goes as far as the entrance before he squats rigidly and wets his pants. “Uh-oh,” he whispers. Jongdae inhales sharply, closing his eyes and tries not to think of cleaning up piss. Jongdae scoops up Kyungsoo and puts him inside the bathtub, trickle of piss decorating the bathroom.  
  
“Are you guys okay?” Chanyeol makes the mistake of going inside to check on them and steps in Kyungsoo’s pee.  
  
“No,” Chanyeol moans. Kyungsoo giggles, high pitched and self-conscious as he cups his mouth with his fingers.  _Oopsies_  is right.  
  
“Yes,” Jongdae sighs. Now he has two babies to go clean up. Kyungsoo farts, shrieking in embarrassment.  
  
-  
  
Jongdae strips off Kyungsoo’s shirt, revealing a slightly pudgy stomach immediately covered by thin arms. “Don’t see,” Kyungsoo whines, turning to face the wall.  
  
“Take off your pants, Soo. They’re icky right now, you don’t want to be icky right?” Unwillingly, Kyungsoo strips down to wet underwear with cartoon prints. Chanyeol works on cleaning off his foot while Jongdae strips off Kyungsoo’s wet socks and rinses off Kyungsoo’s clothes.  
  
“I’ll take over here, just go find him something to wear.” Chanyeol takes the showerhead from Jongdae, spraying Kyungsoo’s butt out of vengeance Jongdae gets up, carefully avoiding any liquids on the floor. After rummaging through his closet, he comes up with a shirt small enough for Kyungsoo that’ll have to do until his clothes dry.  
  
When he comes back, both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are soaking wet, taking turns spraying each other with the showerhead. “Remember to clean up after,” Jongdae reminds, seeing the floor wetter than he remembers.  
  
“Yesss mommm,” Chanyeol says, rolling his eyes. Kyungsoo snickers, repeating Chanyeol happily. Jongdae scowls, leaving his shirt on a dry spot by the bathroom sink. It takes them much longer than they’re supposed to, but Kyungsoo comes out bright and giggly after his impromptu shower. They don’t have any underwear in his size, so Kyungsoo walks around in Jongdae’s shirt like it’s a dress, twirling around for Jongdae to see before collapsing every time he feels too dizzy.  
  
The bathroom is cleaned when Chanyeol comes out shirtless. “Jesus, what are you doing? Indecency in front of the child,” Jongdae squawks. Chanyeol flexes, draping himself over Jongdae just to be annoying.  
  
“Excuse you, we’re all men here.” Jongdae attempts to throw Chanyeol off, but Chanyeol is obviously a little bigger and stronger than him. Kyungsoo runs up to them, head-butting into Jongdae’s legs. “Play,” Kyungsoo says. Agreeably, Chanyeol sits down and allows Bumblebee Rilakkuma to be attacked by the fearsome Guitar Playing Rilakkuma.  
  
“And and then this! See? See? Wowww,” Kyungsoo says, making motorboat noises with his mouth to blast Bumblebee Rilakkuma away. Chanyeol makes a big show of how the Rilakkuma bear tumbles several times in the air before falling on its face.  
  
There’s a knock on the door and some shuffling before Joonmyun’s head appears through the doorway. Gasping, Kyungsoo looks at Chanyeol with wide eyes. “Daddy?” Chanyeol nods, pointing in the door’s direction. Instead of running up to Joonmyun like Chanyeol thought he would, Kyungsoo hides behind the door.  
  
“Where could he be?” Joonmyun scratches his head, winking at Chanyeol. Jongdae stifles his laughter from where he stands by the door. Kyungsoo pops out, pulling on the back of his daddy’s shirt.  
  
“Rawrrrr!” Joonmyun visibly chokes from his tightening collar before he turns around and scoops up Kyungsoo into his arms.  
  
“Where did your clothes go, Soo?” Kyungsoo shrugs, squirming out of his daddy’s grip to show him the picture he drew on the wall. (“See? Seeee?”)  
  
Jongdae hands Joonmyun half wet clothes in a plastic bad. “You can return my shirt the next time Kyungsoo comes over. You want to hang out with hyung-deul again right?” Kyungsoo smiles brightly and nods, high fiving Jongdae’s hand when it comes up.  
  
Chanyeol hands Kyungsoo’s shoes over to Joonmyun, pointing to his cheek and receiving a partial head-butt slash  _popo_. “Wave bye-bye to Chanyeol and Jongdae hyung!” Kyungsoo waves at them with one hand, other hand clinging to his daddy’s neck.  
  
“Bye bye~ bye!” Chanyeol and Jongdae wave back until they can’t see Kyungsoo anymore and shut the door.  
  
“I kinda miss him already,” Jongdae laments. Chanyeol picks up all his Rilakkuma dolls and flops onto the couch.  
  
“I’m the only baby you need,” Chanyeol says teasingly. Jongdae’s ears turn red.  
  
“What the heck!”  
  
Secretly, Jongdae knows he’s right.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
